Here is a link to a fabulous article by Judith E. Glaser on the impact we have intentionally and unintentionally on our teams. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/conversational-intelligence/201701/the-neurochemistry-power-conversations

I remember in my first role as a HR Practitioner. My excitement, enthusiasm and commitment to the mission and objectives of the business were second to none. I exercised my discretionary effort like a text book case study and no challenge was too big to take on.

Over time, however, the culture of the business came into play and it became obvious that for managers to survive in the organisational culture they had to:

• protect their turf
• compete for resources
• expect blame and opposition from other quarters
• expect bullying even by other senior managers
• operate without much support.
• anticipate that any feedback would be problem focused and critical in nature

To say the culture took its toll on staff and leaders was an understatement and over time I too literally gave up and contributed to the high attrition rate, leaving the business disillusioned and in worse health than when I had come on board.

Looking back to look forward is a useful exercise and there is much learning from that time in such a difficult culture.  I dedicated my working life as a Human Resources Manager and as a Business and Leadership Coach to create workplace cultures focused on building trust. Interestingly I have found that the cultures that allow people to flourish reap many wider benefits across the business which ultimately improves bottom line results.

I work with business leaders to create an organisational culture that help people to thrive and to grow.

Using a business improvement process created by Judith E Glaser commonly referred to as “C-IQ”, the healthy organisations we create has in place a culture that:-

• is inclusive of each person – allowing and recognising open sharing of opinions and innovative ideas – even those that challenge traditional views and status quo
• shifts from judging and criticising to appreciating and rewarding
• shifts from limiting aspirations to expanding aspirations
• explores a vision for success for each person
• shifts from withholding to sharing information and power
• Shifts from a knowing mindset to a discovery mindset
• Shifts from dictating to developing –ie from a command and control mindset to one of partnership and empowerment
• Shifts from protection to synchronising and integration, cross-pollinating ideas and organisational wide sharing and discovery.

Ultimately the organisational culture leads to partnership and sharing rather than one trying to manipulate people out of fear and blame.

Today I am impressed with the many businesses I work with and there obvious commitment to their people and customers yet I still find startling examples of businesses where the staff and customers are suffering the effects of a culture that creates negativity, blame and lack of accountability.

C-IQ or Conversational Intelligence ® is the life work of Judith E. Glaser and her company the CreatingWE Institute. Judith is a leading Business Consultant, Coach, author and public speaker. I had the pleasure of completing a year-long Coach Certification process in C-IQ with Judith and her fabulous team.

My clients love the C-IQ framework and its many accessible tools. They report that C-IQ has a significant impact on their leadership capability and organisational culture in increasing trust, deepening relationships and connections across the business. Leaders become clearer in their leadership identity and increase intelligence in relation to their communication and how it impacts others. They understand what it is to lead with care, candour and courage.

To explore this framework more deeply I am inviting you to join me in a free introductory 45 minute presentation to your business leadership team either in person at your workplace or through a live a webinar.

Click here to register your interest. You will never see “words and language” in the same way again.

Robert Stocks

Director

The best way to get your next job series 3 – The third in a 3 part series

There are two areas of job search where conversations are critical to success, namely networking and interview performance. Good networking can lead to more opportunities for interview. Networking is critical for seeking out opportunities.

As mentioned in my earlier articles in this series what we say and don’t say is critical to making a great impression at interviews and during networking conversations.  We want to build trust and relationship as we share our stories that demonstrate our strengths, talents and accomplishments.

We want to demonstrate flexibility and solid communication skills to be remembered and stand out from the crowd.

We don’t want to lose our audience of turn off people who may be critical to our next step on our career pathway.

Here are some tips to help achieve this and increase your confidence.

Networking the do’s and don’ts

• Always prepare and plan for a network meeting;
• Be clear about what you want to achieve;
• Include some brainstorming about how you could reciprocate to help out the other person and assist them to achieve what they desire;
• Focus on the other person and ask them open questions to discover more about their experience and view of the world;
• Don’t be put off if it is different to your own views – keep the conversation going and learn from them;
• Don’t assume that they see and agree with the world from your perspective;
• Don’t be drawn into arguments or intense discussion highlighting your differences;
• Focus on areas of mutual agreement to deepen the conversation;
• Listen carefully for clues for how you can market your competencies, knowledge and experience matching any needs that they have identified;
• Share some of your own stories that reinforce your message (remembering that good stories have a beginning, middle and end and don’t ramble on. Stick to the story to succinctly get your point across);
• Always remain courteous and respectful even when the meeting doesn’t really seem to help your position;
• Remember conversations go on and relationships grow over time. So don’t look at a networking conversation in isolation. A conversation may not seem important now but it might prove critical down the track.

Interviews

Prepare:

• What questions would you be asking if you were the interviewer for the job? Use the selection criteria in the job description for inspiration.
• What are the experiences, skills, knowledge and achievements that you have that demonstrate your competency for the job on offer?
• Give the interviewing panel enough detail to demonstrate how you can apply the competencies they seek.
• In areas where you may feel you don’t have enough direct experience tell them about the things you have done that may be indirectly related. For example if they are asking about your marketing experience and you do not have direct marketing experience, however, you have helped out designing some marketing brochures or providing some admin assistance to a marketing team, then tell them what you have It just may be enough to win them over.
• Always be honest as if they find out they can’t trust you at interview, they can’t trust you at all.

Practice

• Rehearse your answers to the interview questions that you anticipate. It is better if you can do a mock interview with a family member or friend.
• If that is not possible practice in the mirror or record yourself.

Perform

• Do what-ever you need to do to be fresh, energised, organised and ready to go on the day of the interview including preparing your attire. Be early, remember to breathe and greet the interviewer(s) warmly with a smile and a firm handshake where possible.
• Ask questions that help you discover more about the job and the business and the people you will be working with.
• For senior roles include some strategic questions around direction, focus, business aspirations and challenges. This is a great way to connect and build rapport with the interview panel. Great conversations and discussions will be remembered and you will be more likely to be successful at the interview.
• Do not criticise their business plans or ideas but do offer suggestions you have and try to generate more discussion.

If you are interested in learning more about networking and interview preparation to secure your next job read my new e-book Navigating the Career Transition Gridlock

The first Chapter can be viewed here

Robert Stocks is the Director of Integrated Coaching Solutions and has been delivering Career Coaching and Career Transition Coaching programs to individuals and Employers from all sectors; commercial, Government and NGO organisations over the past 9 years.

He is a “Certified C-IQ Coach” after completing a year-long program with Judith E. Glaser* and her team.

Contact Robert to discuss your job seeking needs.

M: 0403 843 604                        E: robert@icoachsolutions.com

        W: www.icoachsolutions.com

*Judith E. Glaser and the CreatingWE ® Institute are the source of the Conversational Intelligence® materials and framework. Judith E. Glaser is a renowned business strategist and sought after author and speaker. The C-IQ framework is changing lives across the globe.

2. How to present confidently even when not feeling at your best

Potential employers are attracted to you when you appear confident, energised, adaptable and resourceful. When they find you easy to relate to and discover your ease in conversation they will begin to trust that you will be a good fit for their organisation.

That is great news when you are feeling at your best but what happens when you are not having a great day or feeling uncomfortable in putting yourself out to there. Maybe you are dealing with yet another ‘not successful” letter.

Here are three key things you can do to present confidently, remain energised with a positive mindset and improve your conversational skills. They will help you be a better networker and be remembered at interview

Finding the Confidence to talk about your talents and strengths

When writing job applications make sure you have captured your talents and strengths in your resume and cover letters. Being able to articulate these selling points is vital when networking and performing at interview.

You need to provide enough relevant and useful info but not too much. Best to leave it out if not especially relevant to the job you are applying for. It will turn off the reader’s interest or cause some confusion.

If the info you provide though is too brief though you will not be shortlisted for interview. Hoping the reader will assume that you have what they are looking doesn’t work. A two page cover letter showing not only skills and competencies but how you have applied them to get great achievements is the type of evidence they are looking for.

One professional I worked with had 3 distinct career skillsets and after we discussed why he was continually rejected for roles he should have been well matched for, we discovered he was listing skillsets for all 3 career types in his applications. This left the potential employer scratching their head asking “well which job do you really want”? We focused and targeted his skillsets and applications for specific jobs and he quickly secured a fabulous position which took his career in the direction he most wanted.

The Need for a Positive mindset

One reason we have been such a successful species is that we Humans have excellent ability to pick up on potential danger which kicks in our self-protective responses to keep us safe. The responses include chemical responses that affect our brains, nervous system and physiological responses such as heart rate and breathing.  That is fantastic when we are faced by physical danger but unfortunately this same protective mechanism kicks in whenever we feel threatened or fearful. This includes when we are moving out of our comfort zone and preparing to put our self out there for a networking conversation or an interview. We may become anxious and nervous. At this point our hormones start preparing us for fight or flight which unfortunately means we lose the ability to activate the higher-level brain functions in the executive brain, where empathy, judgment, and our more strategic social skills occur.

Yes, these are the functions we need for making great conversation and this is the time we need to be calm and energised to create a good impression. So if we are not at our best we could be missing out on opportunities to connect. What we say and how we say it makes a difference. Even a word can change the whole feel of a conversation.

So to maintain a positive mindset and be at our best we need to be aware of when a threat response is likely to be triggered and what we can do to retain a healthy focus in our interactions. So here are some tips to remain energised and present confidently:

• Remain focused on connecting and building relationship with each person we meet. Conversations are two way so make opportunities for both parties to share and discover more about each other.
• Ask open questions to discover and research more about the other person and how they see the world from their perspective
• Reframe negative self-talk: As we want to be connected to others we need to remain connected internally. So if you start to feel anxious or nervous reframe the thinking. For example the thought that “I am not very interesting to this person they won’t want to talk to me” can be reframed into “I am talented and have some great stories about what I have accomplished and what motivates me to share with this person”.
• Refocus negative thinking: For example preparing for a network meeting refocus from worrying about all the reasons the meeting will not go well to asking yourself questions such as:
  • What do I want out of the meeting
  • What can I do to connect and build trust with this person
  • What is the message I want to get across?
  • What do I seek to find out about them?
• Re-direct unhelpful conversations: If a conversation does not go the way you want it to or it is struggling to actually start, there may be some questions that you ask to find other ways to connect. A great way to do this is to ask questions about the other person, their work, their aspirations and fears or even their interests.

Ability to engage others in conversation

Conversational Intelligence is the ability to connect, create relationship and trust and generate intimate conversations that transform lives.

Conversational Intelligence® is a phrase coined by Judith E Glaser, a globally recognised Business Improvement Consultant who has worked with some of the leading companies world-wide. It’s about increasing our awareness of the neurotransmitters that can either shut down conversations or take them to new levels of intimacy and sharing.

So when we are interacting at a networking meeting or attending an interview our conversations need to be engaging, respectful, curious with the ability to influence rather than persuade or manipulate. The desire to connect will eliminate the danger of disengaging the audience by being too forthright in your own opinions. It will also encourage you not to be too passive or withdrawn so that the interview panel lose interest in your responses.

In any conversation remember that building trust and relationship is paramount. So here are some tips to be conversationally savvy:

• Listen to connect with the other person
• Ask questions that you do not know the answer to
• Try and understand the world from their perspective
• Share your information confidently and be ready to respond to further questions
• Be open to the feedback you receive
• Find areas of commonality rather than focusing on areas of disagreement

(Please note that I am a champion of having robust dialogue and even fierce conversations when necessary but in the context of networking and interviewing we are looking to connect to build rapport and this will serve us better than rigorously defending our turf.)

If you are interested in a systematic and thorough guide to approaching the job market have a look at my e-book Navigating the career transition gridlock – A roadmap to success here

If you would like to check out the first chapter of the e-book you can view it here.

In my next article in these series I look at what to say and not say when networking and attending an interview.

Robert Stocks is the Director of Integrated Coaching Solutions and has been delivering Career Coaching and Career Transition Coaching programs to individuals and Employers from all sectors; commercial, Government and NGO organisations over the past 9 years.

He is a “Certified C-IQ Coach” after completing a year-long program with Judith E. Glaser* and her team.

Contact Robert to discuss your job seeking needs.

M: 0403 843 604                        E: robert@icoachsolutions
W: www.icoachsolutions.com

*Judith E. Glaser and the CreatingWE ® Institute are the source of the Conversational Intelligence® materials and framework. Judith E. Glaser is a renowned business strategist and sought after author and speaker. The C-IQ framework is changing lives across the globe.

So you have been thrust unwillingly into the job search pool without a towel.

Feeling wet and more than a little cold by the experience as you face some difficult questions? Where to start? Where are the jobs? Who can I speak to?

You still may be smarting from the experience of being “let go” even if it was handled humanely and with respect. You may be daunted by the task ahead given the unknown of timeframes, competition for jobs and the mystery around “rules of the job search game”.

If you are offered a Career Transition Program with a specialist Career Coach, take it. These professionals are usually expertly placed to help you gain job clarity and focus. They will help you gain the skills you need to navigate the job market to find the ideal next job.

If you were not offered career transition coaching don’t panic. Here are 3 key things you can do to help prepare yourself to uncover the jobs and market yourself with confidence to potential employers.

1. Know yourself – who are you and what is your brand?

What are your key skills knowledge and talents?

Think about your key achievements over the past 10 years. Being able to articulate your achievements is critical to demonstrating how you add value to an Employer and generates a “wow” factor.

What are your competencies? Which did you use to accomplish the achievements in your list? Demonstrating competencies is vital in matching your skillsets with the criteria the Employer is using to select the best applicant.

Ask yourself what am I passionate about? What do I stand for? How do I get things done? The answer to these questions forms part of your personal brand.

This essential information will feed into your resume, application letters and preparation for interviews

2. Remain positive and energised (Take care of yourself and have a little fun)

It is important when job seeking to come across as energised, resourceful and adaptable. You will be more appealing to Employers and more engaging in networking. You may still be dealing with the emotional turmoil and grief of exiting a job you loved and your confidence may have taken a hit. So remember the “locus of control model”. It is better to know what parts of the situation you can control or influence and take proactive and positive action to impact the situation to a new outcome.

There will be bits that concern you that you can’t change and the challenge here is to notice and let it go. Otherwise you are living in the past and losing energy to negative feelings and thoughts. The last thing you need is to let negative thoughts turn into negative self-talk.  This comes out as putting yourself down, blaming yourself for things going wrong and even catastrophising a situation. In my next article in “The Best Way to Get Your Next Job Series”, I look at how to reframe negative self-talk.

Notice and accept what you feel, working through the issues and the emotions. Find people you can trust and talk to them. Take some positive actions to start moving forward. Do whatever you do to take care of yourself and invest time and energy in exercise, healthy diet, connecting with others socially. Try something new. Do a Yoga class or dance lessons or a mediation course. A balanced life is the key for staying focused and inspired.

And…celebrate the little wins along the way. Set yourself some realistic goals each day and find ways to recognise and reward yourself with each achievement. It may be as simple as enjoying a favourite tea after finishing an application and savouring that sense of achievement. It is great just to notice the accomplishment before moving onto the next task. Be creative in finding other ways you can have fun on the way.

3. Network to connect

Relationships are the key to your success. The Australian Bureau of Statistics tells us that for each job advertised on-line or in print, there are at least 2 other jobs available that have not yet been advertised. So get in early. It is essential to converse with people in your network and discover which Employers you should be talking with to seize opportunities as they arise. People that you know have their own networks and are a great source of information when researching industries and employers. They can introduce you or recommend you to employers that are thinking about hiring. Ultimately it will reward you with a conversation with a business leader who needs to recruit. You want to speak to the person who can decide to employ you.

In a later article I will share some tips of what to say in both networking meetings and job interviews.

Networking is about connecting with others to learn more about them and share what is important to you. It may take a number of meetings or contacts to incrementally connect and build trust and gain rapport. We do this naturally as we are social creatures with advanced and sophisticated communication skills with a tendency to cooperate and collaborate for mutual success.  We want a sense of belonging and connecting to others.

With attention and focus it is possible to be more aware of networking opportunities. A great question to ask people you know is “who else do you think I should be talking to”? Remember to demonstrate appreciation of the time anyone makes to help you out.

If you are interested in finding out more about gaining the clarity, connection and self-care needed to secure your next job read my new e-book Navigating the Career Transition Gridlock

If you would like to read the first chapter of the e-book click here.

So dry yourself off, keep breathing and start by gaining some clarity of who are and what you have to offer. This will increase your confidence as you meet with people to identify opportunities and take positive steps to secure your next job.

Robert Stocks is the Director of Integrated Coaching Solutions and has been delivering Career Coaching and Career Transition Coaching programs to individuals and Employers from all sectors; commercial, Government and NGO organisations over the past 9 years.

He is a “Certified C-IQ Coach” after completing a year-long program with Judith E. Glaser* and her team. He is a Professional Member of Career Development Association of Australia.

Contact Robert to discuss your job seeking needs on 0403 843 604.

E: robert@icoachsolutions.com

W: www.icoachsolutions.com

*Judith E. Glaser and the CreatingWE ® Institute are the source of the Conversational Intelligence® materials and framework. Judith E. Glaser is a renowned business strategist and sought after author and speaker. The C-IQ framework is changing lives across the globe.